If you have more than one child (or siblings), I’m sure you’ve experienced the oldest and most annoying game in the world! Thankfully, my kids are past the age for this ‘entertaining’ game. However, I noticed a friend’s boys indulging in a rousing round the other day. Suddenly, I remembered my husband saying he used this strategy to annoy his older sister.
I was struck that though kids change, they remain the same. I mean they may live on cell phones, game systems, and computers, but a good round of sibling baiting gives joy and meaning to childish lives! In fact, I think the first round of this game was played just outside the Garden of Eden! I’ll bet it went something like this:
Eve was calmly picking apples for pie. She was relaxed and peaceful. Her bare feet brushing the soft grass. The idyllic scene shattered as she heard Cain whine, “MAMA! He’s touching me!”
“I’m not touching you!” Abel sang back, with a gleeful smirk and a finger held a gnat’s eyelash away from Cain’s left arm. Cain continued to call for Eve’s help, “Mama! Mama! Make him quit!” At that point, Eve realized that grapes for wine might be better than apples for pie!
Able, still smirking taunted, “Quit what? I’m…not…touching…yoooou!” (Imagine this in a REALLY annoying brother’s sing-song chant.) At that, the finger moved, hovering up and around Cain’s face and head, then back to his arm, never quite making contact. Cain, provoked beyond what any brother could take, punched Abel.
Abel fell melodramatically back against a tree. He howled like a banshee. His bump on the tree knocked a serpent from the upper branches to the ground. Eve, hands on hips in frustration, fought the urge to grab her boys by the napes of the neck and shake them until their teeth rattled!
The snake looked at Eve in feigned commiseration. It was the serpent that had enticed her to commit the first sin, and it took her in again. It sibilantly tempted that if she ate ‘thissss piece of fruit, sssshe [could] have five minutessss (and a bathroom break) all to hersssself…. with no whiny kidssss’.
Desperate to avoid filicide, Eve snarfed the fruit and discovered:
The Sin of Comfort Eating.
We’re all familiar with the fall of Man. Now, you have my theory regarding Woman’s fall from grace. This fall explains the chocolate in
my Eve’s bedside table. It also explains why I believe justifiable homicide may have been a valid defense in the world’s first murder case! Anyone who plays, “I’m not touching you”, totally has it coming in my book!
Do your kids play, “I’m not touching you?” Did you torture your siblings with it? Are you responsible for the chocolate in your mom’s bedside table? Leave me a comment if you have time!
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