Fridays at the Funny Farm: Murder in the Pantry Express

Fridays at the Funny Farm: Murder in the Pantry Express

Fridays at the Funny Farm: Murder in the Pantry Express

I know someone, somewhere will find this story offensive.  However, I’m pretty sure it won’t be someone who lives in the country! Life in the country is wonderful!  Yet, it comes with a few unavoidable downsides.  One of these is the guarantee that every fall, field mice will decide their pantry is running low and the heater is on the blink.  So, they’ll venture into my heated home and fully stocked pantry!  Because of this, my pantry is populated by several million airtight glass jars. Normally, we don’t face the invasion until October.  But, recent flooding has driven the nasty

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Fridays at the Funny Farm: The Fall of Woman

Fridays at the Funny Farm:  The Fall of Woman

If you have more than one child (or siblings), I’m sure you’ve experienced the oldest and most annoying game in the world!  Thankfully, my kids are past the age for this ‘entertaining’ game.  However, I noticed a friend’s boys indulging in a rousing round the other day.  Suddenly, I remembered my husband saying he used this strategy to annoy his older sister. I was struck that though kids change, they remain the same.  I mean they may live on cell phones, game systems, and computers, but a good round of sibling baiting gives joy and meaning to childish lives!  In

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Fridays At The Funny Farm: Mission Impossible Accomplished

Fridays At The Funny Farm: Mission Impossible Accomplished

Jonah recently had a birthday.  The Saturday before said birthday, we had the ‘Family/Family Friends Party’!  This is a very odd mixture of people.  It is also a mixture of very odd people.  I mean there are a couple of ‘normals’ thrown in to keep things interesting, but most of us are knowingly guilty of oddness aforethought.

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Fridays at the Funny Farm: The Green Acres Gaffe

Fridays at the Funny Farm: The Green Acres Gaffe

Our farmhouse sits on about five acres of ‘yard’.  These five acres are much more trouble than the other 25+ acres of ‘pasture’.  Why, you ask?  Because, they’re encircled by a wooden rail fence. Although the fence is fairly aesthetically pleasing, it has a serious downside.  You can easily spot the downside when you notice the sheep’s reaction to it.  They don’t wander about inside it.  They don’t poke their heads through its gaps and graze on the other side.  No!  They put their hooves over their mouths in a failed attempt to smother laughter as they run straight through

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Fridays at the Funny Farm: This Means WAR!

Fridays at the Funny Farm: This Means WAR!

Gather around, boys and girls!  Before we get to today’s funny, we need to have story time! Once upon a time, many (many) years ago, a perfectly well-behaved teenage girl took eleventh grade French.  The girl made good grades and caused no trouble.  If she was a little talkative, at least she and her friend Hufflepuff did their illicit chatting in French.  (Heck, they probably should’ve received extra-credit for all that practice.) The French teacher, however, did not believe they deserved credit.  She believed all smart children should be perfectly behaved.  When her constant pacing and patrolling didn’t evoke the

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Fridays at the Funny Farm: Can I Sedate the Horse?

Fridays at the Funny Farm: Can I Sedate the Horse?

I love being a nurse. Caring for sick children gives my life purpose.  My work makes a difference for families on their darkest days.  It gives immense satisfaction, opportunities for growth, and an outlet for compassion. —WUUUB-SKRIIIIIIIITCH (That’s the part of the post where that ‘needle on a vinyl record sound’ scrapes across my brain!) Although the above is heartfelt and true, it’s only half the story!  Let’s have a Paul Harvey moment, and I’ll tell you the “Rest of the Story”! I have a t-shirt that reads, “Nurses. We can’t fix stupid, but we can sedate it!”  Seriously, nursing

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Fridays at the Funny Farm: Tag You’re It (and other homestead games)

Fridays at the Funny Farm: Tag You’re It (and other homestead games)

I asked, “When you go for hay, can you pick up needles too?” It all started with that simple question.  Long time friends were at the farm for our regularly scheduled ‘Gang Day’. My question was followed by a flurry of jokes about needles and haystacks.  Then, Liam asked why I needed needles.  I explained, that the next day when we tagged sheep, I wanted to inject them with Vitamin B and Iron.  Somehow, that casual question led to a hot, sweaty, slightly bloody, sheepish adventure. Hufflepuff and Old Faithful*, my two best friends, insisted it would be an ‘adventure’. 

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Fridays at the Funny Farm: The Great Skunk Kerfuffle of 2016

Fridays at the Funny Farm: The Great Skunk Kerfuffle of 2016

or  When Drugs Helped Me Learn to Get a Straight Story from My Slow Talking Texan Husband “Houston, we have a problem.”  I’m not sure I can convey the feeling of panic those few words conjure for me.  They form my husband’s pat phrase for problems of all sizes. If he wants a sandwich for lunch, and the pastrami is frozen: Houston, we have a problem. If the mortgage company accidentally takes the mortgage payment out twice: Houston, we have a problem. If the tractor won’t start, the lawn mower has a flat, or ‘someone’ forgot to turn out the

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Fridays on the Funny Farm: Weeing Pigs and Raining Hay

Fridays on the Funny Farm: Weeing Pigs and Raining Hay

…We Looked REALLY Redneck!

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Fridays at the Funny Farm: The Definition of Futility

Fridays at the Funny Farm: The Definition of Futility

Bear with me, I’m going to be nerdy for just a second.  I promise it’s relevant later. Ralph Waldo Emerson has been quoted as saying metaphysics is “a blind man, in a dark room, chasing a black cat which isn’t there.”  For today’s post, allow me to go with the spirit of the quote, rather than the letter.  I say that’s the definition of futility.  After all, I think the futility of metaphysics was Emerson’s point. …I became the definition of futility! We have rabbits.  More specifically, we have a breeding trio of rabbits.  I like rabbits.  They are quiet,

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